srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
it’s a f***ing trap
F***ing hate dudes forreal.
too many f***ing times ugh
Story time.
One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting.
Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.”
At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me.
I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes.
I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?”
I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him.
People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again.
I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.
SECOND STORY TIME
So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.
Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?”
This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.
AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-
“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.
So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.
Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.
I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.
Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.
It:
1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help.
2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention.
3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.
Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.
Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem
Here’s some snap chats of my tux dress 😀 I designed it myself! 😛 as a genderfluid I was really worried about wearing a dress but wanting to be in a tux yet nothing about the tux excited me. It’s a button up with ruffles on the front bro?? And this was for Prom bro. So I combined the two!
If anyone else wants to make a tux dress, I recommend getting a skirt that best compliments your body type (for me, that was a skirt that hit me at my tiny waist and a high low skirt is just really fun!) and getting a tux shirt with a cummerbund,then putting the cummerbund over where the skirt meets the tux shirt. For the jacket I used a small blazer instead of a suit jacket because I didn’t fit into any of the guy’s jackets at the men’s warehouse department 😢 but it looked better with something that fit me anyway. then for the look overall I went with a white black red color palette since that’s a common color palette for tuxes. Accessorize as you please!
The outfit pieces:
Jacket- forever 21
Tux shirt, cummerbund, bow tie, button covers- the men’s warehouse department
Skirt-http://tinyurl.com/z727vjf
Ameynra Fashion High Low Skirt, White Chiffon, with ruffle and underskirt (I got the medium and requested the front to be 14 inches and the back is 37 inches)
Thigh highs- hot topic
Shoes- Mina’s shoes (some cheapy shoe store I found next to DD’s discounts)
Oh my god I love this I need one. This is my aesthetic.
July 10, 2016
me playing pokemon: why do all of these npc trainers have so many of the same pokemon, and only like teams of 2-3? this is unrealistic they should have full 6 pokemon teams and cover all their type weaknesses and me playing pokemon go, arms full of nidoran,: I now understand
so earlier i remembered how during one philosophy class, my professor asked us all to consider what we would do if we could be invisible for a day, because (as she would reveal to us later) she wanted to prove a point about observed accountability and situational morality. we all wrote down our answers, submitted them anonymously, and the prof read them back to us. about 95% of them were like “prank people”, “rob a bank”, “get in places for free”, “scare my best friend”, “spy on someone”, “sneak into closed off areas”, etc.
prof. read them all aloud so she could demonstrate how virtually everybody chose something they couldn’t morally or socially get away with if they were witnessed, and she was looking awfully entertained about how quickly the class proved her point until she got to one that just said “go swimming in the ocean.”
she stopped, read it again, and after a short period of confused silence a girl piped up very earnestly from the class “because the sharks wouldn’t be able to see me.”
‘Ha, that’s pretty cool!’ I thought when I first installed Pokémon Go. I walked out my door and got myself 15 poke balls. Nice. Right?
The game hadn’t quite taken off just yet. I didn’t yet understand what this would mean. I didn’t realise what this would cause.
For three years I have lived here now. In this beautiful blissful city suburb … And for three years, no one would randomly try talking to me (except for that one guy. Ning. Who always seems to forget I’ve rejected him several times now). No small talk, no comments about the weather. This isn’t a rural town. Nobody knows anybody. No one talks to anyone.
But now I live outside a PokeStop.
Now people keep trying to talk to me.
‘You playing Pokémon?’ they smile.
They hang out in groups; they cruise past in their cars. They linger.
I live outside a PokeStop and it is an introvert’s hell.
It’s midnight. It’s bin night.
It’s safe now to go out, I thought. There wont be any Pokémon trainers around now, I thought.
In and out. Just take out the bin. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.
They were there, waiting, playing!
‘There is a Meowth in this area somewhere, you know!’
I skitter back inside. No. No, I don’t know.
But I live outside a PokeStop. Now everyone will make sure I know.
Contractions function almost identically to the full two-word phrase, but are only appropriate in some places in a sentence. It’s one of the weird quirks of this language we’ve.
This post needs some kind of warning sign.
I did not see that coming.
linguist here!! it’s less that contractions are only appropriate in some places in a sentence, and more that they’re only appropriate with some types of verb - mainly auxiliary verbs.
for example: “i have seen the dog” -> “i’ve seen the dog” is perfectly acceptable, because in this instance, the “have” is acting as an auxiliary verb. what it’s doing is taking the main verb, “see(n)”, and putting it in the past tense (along with some other tense stuff). it doesn’t mean “have” in the traditional sense of something like “to own”. you don’t own or have the dog, and you certainly don’t own the seeing of the dog, whatever that might mean - but you did see the dog, in the past. the “have” basically just modifies the meaning of “see(n)”. so, auxiliary “have” is contractible.
however, “there’s a dog i have sometimes” -> “there’s a dog i’ve sometimes” is unacceptable, because in this sentence the “have” is not functioning as an auxiliary verb that’s modifying another verb. there’s no other verb for it to modify! (yes, the “is” in “there’s” is something commonly considered a verb, but it’s not, especially in this particular cirumstance. just trust me on this one.) in this instance, the “have” is the main verb - and therefore actually an entirely different verb altogether. in the same way “flour” and “flower” sound the same, these two “have”s sound the same and are spelled the same, but mean different things and come from entirely different classes of word. you might not know this consciously, but as a native / fluent speaker, you still know it.
can you hear how, when you say “there’s a dog i’ve sometimes”, you’re waiting for something at the end? your brain expects there to be something else - another verb. “the dog i’ve sometimes what? sometimes hugged? sometimes played with?” you instinctively know that, for “have” to be used in the “-‘ve” contraction, it has to be an auxiliary verb - and therefore there should be a main verb following it, because auxiliaries need a main verb to modify.
this is why the contraction in just-shower-thoughts’ example sounds wrong - in their example, the have is the main verb, because there’s no other verb for it to modify. so, again, you get this strange feeling of the sentence being incomplete. your brain is waiting for a main verb to appear for the auxiliary to modify.
tl;dr: it’s not where in the sentence a “have” occurs that defines whether you can contract it, but what kind of a “have” it is. only auxiliary “have”s can be contracted.
(in some circumstances, you can seem to use main verb “have” in a contraction - “i have a dog and three horses” -> “i’ve a dog and three horses” is acceptable to some people, though it does have a definite non-standard, almost archaic feel to it. i suspect what’s happening here is that when you say this, you’re actually saying “i have got a dog and three horses” -> “i’ve got a dog and three horses”, in which case the “have” is still an auxiliary modifying a silent “got”, instead of being the main verb, so it still works!)
fyi don’t try to fucking fix your theme or the html WILL be deleted. don’t touch it.
OKAY I JUST WANT TO ADD TO THIS because if you have gone on your theme and it’s deleted, once tumblr fixes this and you can edit HTML again, go to the theme recovery page and you should be able to restore it!
a concept: Harry Potter with his mother’s hair and father’s eyes instead of vice versa.
Harry with fiery dark red hair and soft hazel eyes please and thank you
i imagine this is how harry and draco’s first meeting would have gone then haha
July 5, 2016
White men desperately need to learn the difference between being attacked and simply not being catered to.
My pitch for an SNL sketch is Adam Driver having to fill in as a temp for Mister Rogers. He means well, but is simultaneously absurdly awkward and completely harmless. He was sent here from the agency, and just does his best to follow the script.
So I really hope that Hollywood is listening and realizing that we aren’t the timid Asian-Americans anymore. That we do speak up now. That we do have a voice. | #IAm Ming-Na Wen
